Jonathan Wilson's World XI Jonathan Wilson’s World XI Arguments can be made for Alisson, Ederson and Marc-André ter Stegen but now he has recovered from the ankle injury that undermined him at the 2018 World Cup, Manuel Neuer is the most imposing. It also means a goalkeeper confident playing behind a high line with the ball at his feet. There can be no place for overt individuality, so no Lionel Messi, no Cristiano Ronaldo and no Neymar. This is a Bielsa side, so workrate, tactical discipline and reliability are essential. That means hard pressing, a high line and, assuming Mars play one up front, a back four. But given our lack of knowledge about how Mars play, the need to research them thoroughly and that we want to present the best our planet has to offer, and so need a figure of great integrity who can be relied upon never to be distracted from the football and has the intellectual capacity to adapt to whatever innovations the Martian game has to offer, there’s really only one candidate: Marcelo Bielsa. Who is the coach and how is he playing? Jürgen Klopp, Bayern’s Hansi Flick and Pep Guardiola are obvious contenders, while the main argument against RB Leipzig’s Julian Nagelsmann is fears about how he may accessorise his spacesuit. Thibaut Courtois is on the shortlist for goalkeeper but only if you’re not too set on playing with a high line.

A couple of years ago, Toby Alderweireld, Jan Vertonghen and Eden Hazard would all have been part of the discussion, but age and injury have diminished them. One Belgian, clearly, gets in: Kevin De Bruyne, the model modern attacking midfielder, technically impeccable and a constant fizz of energy and imagination. But the exercise of picking a World XI is useful, less for the names included in the final lineup than for what the process says about the state of the game (or at least it does if you do it properly, rather than acting like Florentino Pérez in his gálacticos pomp and just ramming together loads of famous players). There is a danger in posing such questions of sounding like Michael Owen, boldly insisting that no Croat would get into the England side after Steve McClaren’s team had failed to qualify for Euro 2008, twice losing to Croatia. Germany 14th: when do we start talking seriously about Jogi Löw? And Belgium, whom England face on Sunday, top? Even after 12 straight wins before Thursday’s draw with Ivory Coast, even as their Golden Generation lingers at the summit, how many of their side would get in an Earth XI to take on Mars? Óscar Washington Tabárez is one of the world’s great coaches but are Uruguay, who scraped a 2-1 win over Chile on Thursday, really the sixth-best side in the world right now? Nobody who saw England’s notional first-choice centre-back pairing of Harry Maguire and Joe Gomez in separate action for their clubs last Sunday would feel comfortable with their ranking of fourth. T he Fifa world rankings rarely fail to raise an eyebrow.

Beware the face of mars